In some of our previous blogs, we’ve talked about the costs associated with avoided or poorly managed conflict resolution. Now, let’s talk about what are the benefits of well-managed conflicts and what we do to mitigate the challenges and costs.
Trauma-Informed Workplaces & Leadership:
A starting point is to focus on culture building and fostering a trauma-informed culture. This is a culture that is psychologically and physically safe. A workplace that feels safe for people to raise concerns and to disagree is one that demonstrates awareness and compassion that employees may have faced some type of trauma in their past.
The benefits of having a trauma-informed workplace are to provide choice, support, collaboration, and empowerment across the team. They also work together to create policies and processes to support these foundations. My colleague, Kim Van Ryn, is an expert on trauma-informed leadership, and I get the pleasure of co-facilitating trainings with her. Check out what she has to say in What Trauma-Informed Leaders Know: Practice Makes Permanent, Not Perfect
Well-Managed Conflicts: A Story
I once facilitated a training where I just loved the leader’s mindset and belief around disagreement. She did such an effective job of engaging her team to talk about disagreement. Her team was tackling a particularly tough issue in a staff meeting, and the room was divided. About half of the team was for something, the other half was against. Instead of trying to push the agenda, or her perspectives, she asked incredibly skillful open questions and led the team through an exercise to invite and encourage the team to think differently. It was called the “What if we…” exercise.
She asked the team a number of open-ended questions, toned with curiosity, which helped people “undig” their heels and explore different options.
I talked to her afterwards, and I commented on what skillful leadership she used to invite people to think about perceptions that were different from the ones that they held dear to them, close to their chest.
The group was able to figure out together a solution that worked. Some people changed their mindsets because of more information. Some of them still held their mindsets strongly, but it wasn’t a problem any longer and they understood (instead of challenged) the “why” behind people’s positions. The group was no longer divided, and it really set me up for the training that I did with them later that day.
That’s an example of creating a culture where people feel safe to have those conversations. I call these the “courageous dialogues,” i.e. having those courageous conversations that are about the topics that matter most and are mostly avoided. We need to be able to communicate courageously in conflict and disagreement.
In our upcoming blogs, we will continue to uncover some of the other benefits of well-managed conflict. Until then, try to increase the use of curious questions in your day-to-day communications, not just in conflict.