Rebuilding trust after hard conversations and conflict resolution is an important step in closing the loop and supporting the relationship.
People often want to ensure that “things are okay” after difficult conversations. You may hear people ask things like, “Are we good?” or “Are we okay?”
Rebuilding Trust: 4 Questions That Can Help
After hard conversations, it can be helpful to take some time for a Review and Learn—four questions that can provide incredible insights and take you further down the path of rebuilding trust. Ask yourself questions like:
- What went well in the conversation?
- What was a challenge?
- What did I learn?
- What will I do differently?
You can hear the full conversation on the recording I did on LinkedIn.
What you discover from this conversation and your review and learn can help you with future hard conversations, even with different people.
Review & Learn Deep Dive
Let’s unpack these four questions a bit more….
#1: What went well in the conversation?
Examples:
- You may have been prepared or perhaps you chose the right time and place for the meeting.
- Maybe what you intended to say came out exactly the way you intended.
- Perhaps you maintained your composure, stayed regulated, and managed your emotion in the moment.
- You noticed that you were able to use active listening, open-ended questions, and/or create a comfortable pace and speed for the dialogue.
- Maybe the other person showed up willing to listen and resolve.
#2: What was a challenge?
Examples:
- Maybe there wasn’t enough time?
- Did you experience dynamics you were not prepared for?
- Perhaps the other person reacted in a way that surprised you?
- You could have discovered some assumptions or unconscious biases you were not aware of.
#3: What did I learn?
Examples:
- What did you learn about the situation?
- What did you learn about the other person?
- What did you learn that will help you in future?
- What did you learn about rebuilding trust with this person?
- What did you learn about yourself?
#4: What will I do differently?
- What will you do differently in the relationship with the other person?
- What can you do differently in future hard conversations?
- What can you do differently to prepare?
- What can you do differently to minimize impacts on trust so there is less rebuilding to do?
The next time you have a hard conversation, I encourage you to use these Review and Learn questions to explore how to rebuild trust and the relationship.
Listen to the information and additional tips here